Tom Cruise Called Up As Prosecutor In Trump Scandal

Noted actor Tom Cruise has been asked to get ready for a reprise of his role in 1992's A Few Good

Men.  Cruise was reportedly surprised at the request saying, "I am just an actor and while I will indeed jump at the chance to serve my country in whatever way asked, I merely played a lawyer and am in no way qualified."  Officials close to the investigation told Cruise that did not matter and the final cross examination speech that he made famous in the award winning movie and play of 1992 fits very closely with how they plan to approach Donald Trump when and if he ever has to take the witness stand.

Jack Nicholson has also been asked to be a stand in for Trump during mock trials.  Nicholson was reportedly surprised at the request saying, "I am just an actor".

Sources are saying that President Trump may himself be looking at the movie as a way to build his defense.  Trump has reportedly said, "Col. Jessup [Nicholson's character] doesn't seem like a bad guy.  Let's see if we can hire him." The President had to be informed that Col. Jessup is a fictional character.  Staffers are, however, busy modifying the final monologue, changing key sections in little ways like altering the phrase "You want me on that wall.  You need me on that wall!" to "You want me to build that wall.  You need me to build that wall!!!"

Trump staffers are saying that the movie is a treasure trove of information for the fake news media.  Trump liked the strategy laid out by his defense team and tweeted a cut and pasted line from the movie to Robert Mueller and his investigating team.

  I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous.

Sources say he toyed with the 4000 Cubans line, wanting to change it to "6 million illegals who voted against me...illegally.)

In a closed meeting on investigatory staff member is reported to have said, much like Cruise's character in the movie, " I think he wants to admit he made a command decision and be done with it."

Both Cruise and Nicholson have said they are ready, if needed but each actor noted that they are just actors and this real life case is a lot less believable than the movie.

Trump Fires Yet Another Obama Era Appointee

The president is under scrutiny again for firing yet another Obama era appointee.  Lawrence Lipscomb, the famous "fist bump janitor",  was let go by the Trump administration this week.

It appears that prior to being let go, he had asked for additional funds stating, that, "the sheer number of documents being shredded lately caused him to have to work extra hours."  He has also said that he has had to take additional time off due to back problems from having to lift trash outside of the Oval Office.  "As soon as people come out of meetings with Trump, they load down the garbage cans with printouts of electoral maps and unsigned loyalty oaths."

Elijah Cummings and the Senate select committee are said to be in talks with Lipscomb over what he may have seen while working for the Executive.  When asked if he was the source of the recent leaks, Lipscomb said that he had no desire to be involved but recent reports show that Trump would often pull Lipscomb aside and tell him about his electoral victory and his dealings with Russia after which, Lipscomb would write his own memos of the experience.
We have some exclusive excerpts

November 8th 2017
President Trump seems like a very nice guy and I think I am going to enjoy working for him."

November 11th, 2017
President continues to call me "Lippy" and often will not let me leave the Oval Office.  I am very scared.  Met a nice guy named Michael Flynn today, apparently he really likes turkey, won't shut up about it.  I am a big fan of deli meats myself but come on!

January 26, 2017
Met a lovely woman named Sally Yates today.  She apologized profusely when she exited the Oval Office and kicked the trash can across the room.  She looked at me and said, "can you believe this?" gesturing to the Oval Office.  I suspect she told the president something interesting.

February 14
President Trump said he wants to meet with me after his meeting with FBI Director Comey.  He has told me to wait for Comey to leave and then come in so we can "shoot the shit."  I think he is lonely without his wife.

Comey left, shaking his head for some reason.  Looked at me and said, "can you believe this?" gesturing to the Oval Office.

President Trump told me to come in and locks hands with mine. His hands are clammy and he wants me to look at the electoral map.  Hits button at desk for coke.  The steward comes in and does not offer me a Coke.  We both look down.  Trump tips him with signed electoral map.  He exits.

As of this writing, Lipscomb is unemployed but has received a six figure book deal.  He has been subpoenaed to testify before Congress at some point in June though he has been quoted as saying that he really cannot tell them anything more about Flynn.  He says what he knows, EVERYONE knows and encouraged the panel to simply get Trump in a room for five minutes, give him a Coke, and let him talk.

Trump Announces Right Wing Friends From High School Will Receive New Presidential Medals

"In recognition of their hard work and dedication, I am going to be issuing several million
Presidential Medals of Making America Great Again to right wing friends from high school all over the United States." Trump said in a series of edited tweets.

Millions of right wing friends from high school have been invited to the White House where they will receive their medal, a handshake photo opportunity, and a pat on the head.  Winners will be broken down into "Best Facebook Post", "Bigliest Tweet" and "Best Dinner Table Rant"

Commemorative pamphlets are being printed that appear to show crowd size on inauguration day, an electoral map, with a space on the back for a signature, not that the president will sign but where recipients must sign to receive their medal.

"I am deeply honored to receive this great honor.  Just honored " one right wing friend from high school said.  "Am I insulted that I have to pay cash in advance for it?  No not at all. I am honored.  So what if I have to drive to Washington myself?  I am honored, just honored."

When asked about the medals and where they will be made, the president said proudly that they will be made in America.  Rumors purport that they will be made by a company that he owns.  Sean Spicer said that was ridiculous and that the medals are being made by a company Ivanka owns so that there is no conflict of interest and, unprompted, stated "No they are not being made by kids in the basement of a Mar-a-lago storage facility."

The president noted that in order to boost the re-emerging coal industry, they will be designed to be a small nugget of coal encased in lead because "the American lead industry has been flagging for years and we need to bring it back."

Right Wing Friend From High School Shuts Down Democratic Party With Comey Tweet.

It proved to be a sad day for liberal lawmakers as Democrat Maxine Waters stood solemnly at the
podium to offer a brief statement before she stepped down and renounced the Democratic Party.  Complete transcripts are unavailable as most of her staff had quit after last night's tweet in reference to former Director of the FBI James Comey.

Right Wing Friends From High School to receive new presidential medal...

It seems that Republicans are touting an exchange that Comey had with Representative Hirono of Hawaii (where ousted former President Barack Obama claims to be from).  Below:

HIRONO: So if the Attorney General or senior officials at the Department of Justice opposes a specific investigation, can they halt that FBI investigation?

COMEY: In theory yes.

HIRONO: Has it happened?

COMEY: Not in my experience. Because it would be a big deal to tell the FBI to stop doing something that — without an appropriate purpose. I mean where oftentimes they give us opinions that we don’t see a case there and so you ought to stop investing resources in it. But I’m talking about a situation where we were told to stop something for a political reason, that would be a very big deal. It’s not happened in my experience.

Right wing friend from high school then posted the last paragraph on his Facebook page and this led to the collapse of the Democratic party and the liberal media elites, contending without comment, that this statement proves without a doubt that Donald Trump is innocent of everything ever.

Robert Mueller, newly appointed special council (we are now obligated to spell it "council" instead of "counsel") was quoted as saying that "...In my many years of service in the Marines, my time as a lawyer, litigator, and as Director of the FBI, I have never been so thoroughly "owned" as the kids say.  I hereby resign as independent COUNCIL."  With that and what appeared to be a tear in his eye, he walked away, flinging a stack of papers in the air.

Comey, when asked for comment, state simply, "You got me."

Sean Spicer and Kellyanne Conway stood, embracing, in the White House Press room where confetti and balloons dropped from the ceiling.  On the balloons were stamped the words "Suck it, bitches, ---DJT"

Legal scholars are bewildered at the simplicity of the post and how Right Wing Friend From High School was able to so adroitly state the case.

"The problem with our legal system is too many words.  What Right Wing Friend From High School was able to do was take a comment, REMOVE context entirely and brilliantly whittle the comment down to its base argument thus proving his point.  The legal community and the "elites" have been doing too much "reading" and attempting to get meaning from words.  This FEELS like a point and that being said, once you get to the point where something FEELS like what you want it say, can no longer argue." said one legal historian.

The fallout continues as Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the other justices on the Supreme Court make only sporadic public appearances.  We caught now former Justice Ginsburg sobbing on the steps of the Supreme Court building muttering incoherent phrases about a "wasted life" while Neil Gorsuch was spotted on a corner of Pennsylvania Avenue holding a sign that said "Will Judge For Food"

Right wing friend from high school could not be reached for comment.  Rumors abound and many are wondering how often he checks his Facebook account or if it is even his full time Facebook account or just one that he keeps so that he can make comments.  We will keep up with this story as developments unfold.

President Trump Announces New Press Secretary:Siri

May 12, 2017 Washington DC.
In yet another stunning development from the White House, President Trump has seemingly fired Sean Spicer in favor of a newer, more accurate White House Press Secretary, Siri.

Trump said in a tweet earlier today that surrogates cannot accurately report on such a dynamic presidency as his so he has hired Siri to manage his press briefings about the day to day inner workings of the White House.

Trump says, "Only Siri can accurately report on the day to day inner workings of the White House and not get miss any of the details of such a great presidency, bigly."

Siri was reportedly chosen for her accuracy as long as questions are posed loudly and clearly and her ability to speak in complete sentences.  She even spell checks.

When asked for comment Siri replied, "Only Siri can accurately report on the day to day inner workings of the White House and not miss any of the details of such a great presidency, bigly."

Kellyanne Conway, Rudy Giulianni, Chris Christie, and Sean Spicer are reportedly elated with the new hire.  In future public engagements, they will simply hold the phone to the microphone and let Siri respond to the questions.  In the meantime, a special podium is being designed so that Siri can respond to reporters questions in the briefing room.

When asked if they will still be drawing a salary for simply walking around carrying a cell phone and holding it to the microphone, Conway and Spicer replied that it was more difficult than the job they have been doing before and implied that they would be asking for a raise.

Many have derided the move as cynical and claim that mocks the press. Meanwhile Jake Tapper and Anderson Cooper claim that the move could be the best one yet from the White House and will save them both lots of money on headache pain relievers.  Kellyanne Conway replied that Dee Dee Myers was the first female press secretary, followed by Dana Perrino, and CJ Cregg and the media should be happy to have another woman at the podium full time.  She went on to say it was "sexist" to say that Siri is a bad choice for the position.

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Mike Flynn as FBI Director. Who is the joke really on?

I am going to be teaching a class on Politics and Media this summer at a university in D.C. and I thought I would talk a little about it here.

So I posted a little piece, out of anger, posing that Mike Flynn had been chosen to replace James Comey as director of the FBI.  I thought it was funny.  Many other people thought it was funny.  Many people did not find it all amusing.
As quickly as a half an hour after posting, it had nearly 1000 page views and people had begun to sound off in the comments section (and still are).

 The breakdown was pretty much as follows...
About 70 percent thought it was funny and took it as the joke that it was.  About 10 percent did not think it was funny at all.  What about the other 20 percent?

That 20 percent explains a lot about who we are as a country.  Most of the time this blog serves as a place where I and others can voice my opinions on politics and elaborate with just a little depth.  This one time, when I had an idea, born of frustration, I wrote something that I thought would be funny and lighten the mood about Comey being fired.

Several people sounded off with the comment that it was not "productive".  I beg to differ. Some read it and thought it was just not funny, but as I said, about 20 percent wondered whether or not it was real and began to go off on other tangents.  Within that 20 percent were people who did not read the comments above theirs and did not read the blog post itself.

Trump has often said that even if Putin interfered with the election (he did) it did not change a single vote.  With an off hand joke, about 20 minutes of thought and writing, I was able to untintentionally get about 3000 people to think differently about something and essentially fool them with a free account.  A few people said that is how they recognized it as a fake post was the fact that this is a blogspot account, not the fact that I said that Sean Spicer threw a smoke bomb after the press briefing and exited the briefing room via a cable in the ceiling.

Also wrapped up in that 20% were the Trump supporting trolls who enter these groups so that they can undermine them from within.  The post was used in some circles to show that we liberals were making stuff up despite, I say again, that it was obviously fake to anyone who took the time to read it.  To people who fell for it, I apologize but I also ask a very big "what if".

Some people say that Vladimir Putin is worth about 70 billion dollars and other reports estimate $200 billion.  So at a minimum, he is one of the richest people in the world if not the richest person in history.  So if a person could do something like this in a matter of minutes, what if a billionaire decided to engage in something of the sort full time?

Also something to consider is that this is a process that refines itself.  What worked, what did not work?  Many people recognized it as a joke right off the bat and pointed out the flaws.  First, that it was a blogspot post.  Easy fix, pay $20 for a web domain.  Done.  Second, the piece led with a comment that "Trump tweeted..." and many people noted that there was not a picture of the tweet and that there were too many characters in the comment.  Got me.  Third, was the fact It became apparent that too many people did not actually click on the post, they just read the headline and blurb beneath it.  In literature, it is called a narrative hook.  So, the takeaway is that if there is a good picture, a grabbing headline and a blurb beneath that is intriguing enough, the rest of the article is irrelevant for many.

In the coming days, if I can, I am going to post this piece in some right wing groups and see how it goes over.  The objective is the same, though.  How hard is it to fool someone?  How difficult is it to engage someone in a narrative that simply ramps up what they wanted to believe in the first place?  Cast your mind back to a year ago when people were saying that Hillary Clinton was on the verge of death and that in her spare time she was raping children in the basement of pizza shop that has no basement and wonder whether or not Putin's antics had an impact on the election.  Take a moment also to think about how easy it was and how much of that is on us.

There are two components at play, the trick and our willingness to be tricked.  I have written my opinion about injustices and the work we do in inner cities, immigration, etc. etc. etc. but by far the greatest response I have ever gotten is over a fake post.

Elijah Montgomery

We tweet at WritLarge
Contact at 9of9productions@gmail.com

Mike Flynn being considered for FBI Director.

In a tweet today, Donald Trump suggested that he might bring back Mike Flynn to be FBI director
now that James Comey is out, having apparently happily resigned from the postion. Trump stated,"Let's be honest, no one knows more about the inner workings of the Russia investigation than Flynn, aside from Jeff Sessions and the two will be working closely together, bigly."

Flynn is reportedly considering the offer saying that there is someone he has to check with first, but he is nearly certain there will be no problems with the appointment.

Republicans on the hill are saying that this is a stunning show of leadership from the President and given that Flynn was vetted by the Obama administration, there should be no problem with him taking the office.

When asked about Flynn's dismissal as NSA director and whether or not it should be considered when choosing him for the FBI position, Sean Spicer said, "No, next question."

When pressed for further comment, Spicer said, "I find it interesting...I'm answering your question...I'm answering your question!  I find it interesting that a hero that was vetted by the Obama administration would all of the sudden be "unqualified" now that he is being considered for a position for which he alone is uniquely qualified."

Spicer then threw a smoke bomb and exited the press room via a cable in the ceiling.  He was spotted later hiding in the bushes as many in the press exited the building.

Is this out of the realm of possibility?  Given everything that has been happening lately, I would say no.