Tom Cruise Called Up As Prosecutor In Trump Scandal

Noted actor Tom Cruise has been asked to get ready for a reprise of his role in 1992's A Few Good

Men.  Cruise was reportedly surprised at the request saying, "I am just an actor and while I will indeed jump at the chance to serve my country in whatever way asked, I merely played a lawyer and am in no way qualified."  Officials close to the investigation told Cruise that did not matter and the final cross examination speech that he made famous in the award winning movie and play of 1992 fits very closely with how they plan to approach Donald Trump when and if he ever has to take the witness stand.

Jack Nicholson has also been asked to be a stand in for Trump during mock trials.  Nicholson was reportedly surprised at the request saying, "I am just an actor".

Sources are saying that President Trump may himself be looking at the movie as a way to build his defense.  Trump has reportedly said, "Col. Jessup [Nicholson's character] doesn't seem like a bad guy.  Let's see if we can hire him." The President had to be informed that Col. Jessup is a fictional character.  Staffers are, however, busy modifying the final monologue, changing key sections in little ways like altering the phrase "You want me on that wall.  You need me on that wall!" to "You want me to build that wall.  You need me to build that wall!!!"

Trump staffers are saying that the movie is a treasure trove of information for the fake news media.  Trump liked the strategy laid out by his defense team and tweeted a cut and pasted line from the movie to Robert Mueller and his investigating team.

  I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous.

Sources say he toyed with the 4000 Cubans line, wanting to change it to "6 million illegals who voted against me...illegally.)

In a closed meeting on investigatory staff member is reported to have said, much like Cruise's character in the movie, " I think he wants to admit he made a command decision and be done with it."

Both Cruise and Nicholson have said they are ready, if needed but each actor noted that they are just actors and this real life case is a lot less believable than the movie.