Showing posts with label sean spicer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sean spicer. Show all posts

Friday, May 19, 2017

Right Wing Friend From High School Shuts Down Democratic Party With Comey Tweet.

It proved to be a sad day for liberal lawmakers as Democrat Maxine Waters stood solemnly at the
podium to offer a brief statement before she stepped down and renounced the Democratic Party.  Complete transcripts are unavailable as most of her staff had quit after last night's tweet in reference to former Director of the FBI James Comey.

Right Wing Friends From High School to receive new presidential medal...

It seems that Republicans are touting an exchange that Comey had with Representative Hirono of Hawaii (where ousted former President Barack Obama claims to be from).  Below:
HIRONO: So if the Attorney General or senior officials at the Department of Justice opposes a specific investigation, can they halt that FBI investigation?
COMEY: In theory yes.
HIRONO: Has it happened?
COMEY: Not in my experience. Because it would be a big deal to tell the FBI to stop doing something that — without an appropriate purpose. I mean where oftentimes they give us opinions that we don’t see a case there and so you ought to stop investing resources in it. But I’m talking about a situation where we were told to stop something for a political reason, that would be a very big deal. It’s not happened in my experience.
Right wing friend from high school then posted the last paragraph on his Facebook page and this led to the collapse of the Democratic party and the liberal media elites, contending without comment, that this statement proves without a doubt that Donald Trump is innocent of everything ever.
Robert Mueller, newly appointed special council (we are now obligated to spell it "council" instead of "counsel") was quoted as saying that "...In my many years of service in the Marines, my time as a lawyer, litigator, and as Director of the FBI, I have never been so thoroughly "owned" as the kids say.  I hereby resign as independent COUNCIL."  With that and what appeared to be a tear in his eye, he walked away, flinging a stack of papers in the air.
Comey, when asked for comment, state simply, "You got me."
Sean Spicer and Kellyanne Conway stood, embracing, in the White House Press room where confetti and balloons dropped from the ceiling.  On the balloons were stamped the words "Suck it, bitches, ---DJT"
Legal scholars are bewildered at the simplicity of the post and how Right Wing Friend From High School was able to so adroitly state the case.
"The problem with our legal system is too many words.  What Right Wing Friend From High School was able to do was take a comment, REMOVE context entirely and brilliantly whittle the comment down to its base argument thus proving his point.  The legal community and the "elites" have been doing too much "reading" and attempting to get meaning from words.  This FEELS like a point and that being said, once you get to the point where something FEELS like what you want it say, can no longer argue." said one legal historian.
The fallout continues as Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the other justices on the Supreme Court make only sporadic public appearances.  We caught now former Justice Ginsburg sobbing on the steps of the Supreme Court building muttering incoherent phrases about a "wasted life" while Neil Gorsuch was spotted on a corner of Pennsylvania Avenue holding a sign that said "Will Judge For Food"
Right wing friend from high school could not be reached for comment.  Rumors abound and many are wondering how often he checks his Facebook account or if it is even his full time Facebook account or just one that he keeps so that he can make comments.  We will keep up with this story as developments unfold.

Friday, May 12, 2017

President Trump Announces New Press Secretary:Siri

May 12, 2017 Washington DC.
In yet another stunning development from the White House, President Trump has seemingly fired Sean Spicer in favor of a newer, more accurate White House Press Secretary, Siri.

Trump said in a tweet earlier today that surrogates cannot accurately report on such a dynamic presidency as his so he has hired Siri to manage his press briefings about the day to day inner workings of the White House.

Trump says, "Only Siri can accurately report on the day to day inner workings of the White House and not get miss any of the details of such a great presidency, bigly."

Siri was reportedly chosen for her accuracy as long as questions are posed loudly and clearly and her ability to speak in complete sentences.  She even spell checks.

When asked for comment Siri replied, "Only Siri can accurately report on the day to day inner workings of the White House and not miss any of the details of such a great presidency, bigly."

Kellyanne Conway, Rudy Giulianni, Chris Christie, and Sean Spicer are reportedly elated with the new hire.  In future public engagements, they will simply hold the phone to the microphone and let Siri respond to the questions.  In the meantime, a special podium is being designed so that Siri can respond to reporters questions in the briefing room.

When asked if they will still be drawing a salary for simply walking around carrying a cell phone and holding it to the microphone, Conway and Spicer replied that it was more difficult than the job they have been doing before and implied that they would be asking for a raise.

Many have derided the move as cynical and claim that mocks the press. Meanwhile Jake Tapper and Anderson Cooper claim that the move could be the best one yet from the White House and will save them both lots of money on headache pain relievers.  Kellyanne Conway replied that Dee Dee Myers was the first female press secretary, followed by Dana Perrino, and CJ Cregg and the media should be happy to have another woman at the podium full time.  She went on to say it was "sexist" to say that Siri is a bad choice for the position.

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Thursday, April 6, 2017

The Angry Liberal... #Itoldyouso and the troll battle continues.

I tend to pick on the right quite a bit and I am considering upping my game.  I have been caught up in the idea of the angry liberal lately.  It is becoming more difficult to be the
soft and kind, touchy feely, hippie type.  Ann Coulter is the best model for what the left needs.  She is a person who makes little to no sense, yet says things anyway.  Without the anchor of a network, she can go on any show and say whatever she wants and sell books to those who want to read and listen to her.  Nice work if you can get it, right?

The reality is that without an anchor, she can play into the standard view of the conservative white person and enjoy being what people expect.  The problem with the left and the liberal snowflakes is that we are supposed to represent the softer side and the positive world view.  Donald Trump has turned that on its head.

In terms of debate, the liberal line is tough to hold.  How do you stand up for yourself while still being the caring loving individual you are?  The answer is simple, in my humble opinion.  We need the liberal equivalent of Ann Coulter.

Case in point: Helen Baristain is married to an undocumented immigrant.  She is a Trump supporter.  Her husband was just deported, despite having no criminal record and being an upstanding citizen (or rather being an upstanding person living in the U.S.).  What is there to say?  The soft, snowflake wants to say that I am sorry that happened.  I want to say that she  and we should do everything in our power to get him back into the arms of his loving family.  The angry liberal in me wants to tell her tough and launch a new hashtag, (#Itoldyouso).

We are seeing more and more of it; people falling victim to their support of Donald Trump and the Republican regime.  The interesting thing is that if something good happens, Trump takes credit.  If something bad happens, he places blame everywhere but himself.  I think we need someone to take him and others to task without trying to be politically correct.  For the record, that person is not Bill Maher.

I am not saying that everyone should be mean to trolls.  I am saying that someone should be mean.  Someone needs to listen to some of the things these people are saying and say, "That is stupid."  The inevitable reply to that will be, "Oh, I thought you liberals were supposed be all sweetness and light." Do we care and is that the line that lets people off the hook for the silly things they say?  The idea that people should allow others to say what they want without consequence or rebuttal because it is the nice thing to do.

The problem is a simple one and easily solved.  One of the reasons why we lose these debates and the commentary is because we have cede the lower ground.  We all rise above when someone needs to get muddy.  Also we assume that people are open to convincing or simply the viewing of relevant facts.  I do not want to believe we are past the point of serious debate, but...

In my opinion and my wildest dream, we need a liberal goon.  In hockey, often teams have a goon or an enforcer whose sole job is to punish players on the other team who foul them.  The right has many such goons who come out of the woodwork when it is time to bash a liberal.  We don't really have anyone.  I would like to see someone sink to their level.  Let's have a reporter with a White House press pass who just screams, "BULLSHIT!" when Sean Spicer said something that was untrue.

Fundamentally, the left has been on its back foot since November 7th or so.  We have been in a defense posture where we are replying to the things that have happened as opposed to launching our own initiatives and building our base.  We have been called on to work with Trump and those in the know are unwilling to do so, despite how many people it would help, because he would likely take credit for any progress made on the left and if anything fails, put them in a place to take the fall.

So I ask, where is the angry liberal out there yelling and screaming about the alt-right and telling people to STFU?

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Sean Spicer thinks a lot of things are interesting....

I am sure that Sean Spicer likes a lot of things.  I am sure he likes kittens or may even be an avid bird watcher for all I know.  There are a lot more things that Spicer thinks are interesting and he enjoys sharing them with the press.

April Ryan received the brunt of his interest when she started to ask him about the leaks in the White House, Sally Yates testifying before Congress, and Condoleezza Rice's upcoming visit with the President.  To his credit, he began by holding the line.  She asked him how the White House was going to "revamp" its image in the face of all of the controversy and he responded that they were going to continue to bring people together, across the aisle, etc. etc.

When she started on the next question about Condoleezza Rice, he thought it was so interesting that he cut her off mid-sentence to say that he thought it was interesting that she would follow up her first question with that one implying that she was trying to sow discord or something in the White House with all her negativity.  We will never really know because she did not really get to answer the question.  So great was his interest that he continually cut her off and told her not to shake her head at him as he tried to answer the question, that she really did not get to ask.

I took a moment to Google what this could possibly be about because I had forgotten about the whole thing.  It seems that President Trump apparently called her a "bitch" in front of a crowd a while ago and implied that she was inept at her job as Secretary of State. During the campaign Secretary Rice did not pull any punches about not supporting him and when asked to comment, said he should "Just stop" and drop out of the race.  Yet here we are.  April Ryan wanted to know (and I have to admit I am a little curious myself) how this meeting might go after such bad blood between the two.  It is a legitimate question.

Spicer has developed a little bit of a tell when it comes to speaking from the podium.  First he enters and reads very quickly, like a third grader delivering a book report, from prepared remarks about how great things are going in the White House and how anything that contradicts it is wrong (Fake news is on the decline because it has lost its momentum).  He peppers his remarks with comments about how this story or that is wrong  and then we are off to the races with questions.

Lately he has upped his game though.  He has started beginning his replies with "I think it's interesting that..." and talking about what the press is doing wrong and the Democrats are doing wrong.  He has taken the offensive (even more so than before).

Today he thought it was interesting that the press was reporting on the content of the leaks rather than whether or not they were legal a position that he had no problem with during the campaign and wiki-leaks was coming out with stolen emails on a daily basis.

I have to tip my hat to Sean Spicer.  He is evolving as a speaker to a particular demographic while at the same time devolving in what he is actually saying.  I am glad Sean Spicer is sharing his interests with the rest of us but it makes me wonder what his end game is.  My theory is that he is trying to goad someone in the press pool to take a shot at him right then and rebut him in the press room rather than excoriating him in their respective media.  Aside from Fox and Breitbart, the story is going to be about his meltdown.

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