The difference is that DC has at least one foot in the real world and NOTHING in the Marvel Universe.

With the Marvel Universe, we realize that we are not alone in the universe, that there are aliens, gods, gamma powered men, and so on. No one seems very upset about all of that though. Think about it, If you lived in a major city, most of which was destroyed by aliens and gods and super people wouldn't you grab the kids and move to Kansas? In the Marvel Universe everything goes back to normal pretty quickly.
Also, lets look at that scene where Hydra goes after Nick Fury...In DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON D.C.! No cops, no Army, no Air Force...all about a mile or so from the freakin' White House.
The TV shows don't even really touch on what has happened in any real way. There are kids running around with Capt. America and Iron Man action figures and constantly showing up at things where the Avengers are. If I EVER see Capt. America or Iron Man running through the streets I RUN! The people in this universe stand around take pictures and then the next day...well, they go on about their business.
The DC Universe at least tackles that. Yes, it is very emo, but that is how the world would be if there were aliens and psychotic clowns running around blowing things up. The DC Universe has been criticized for being too death oriented but you can't get into a real life incarnation of these things without examining the real life consequences and reactions.

There are plenty of reasons why none of the stuff in either of these worlds could not and would not happen. The DC Universe has at least one more toe in reality.
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