Things that must be happening right now based on Trump's weekend

It has been a wild political weekend to say the least.  There were the debates of course and well, we all know about the video.  Oh my goodness, the video.

Now is the time that we look forward, though.  Trump apologized and that is the end of it, right?  So how are we this fine Monday morning?  There are so many things that must be going on right now, as we speak, based on this weekend's events.

Somewhere, let's be honest, there is a young girl lying flat on her back doing goodness knows what in a porn parody of this whole election.

Somewhere, there is an intern, combing through hours and hours of tapes basically with his or her eyes taped open so that they can find something else as damaging.

Somewhere, there is someone putting together a lot of cash to pay off the owner of the tapes perhaps, to keep them quiet.

Somewhere, there is someone putting together a lot of cash to pay off the owner of the tapes, perhaps, to make them public.

Somewhere, there are people who are constructing elaborate arguments as to why Trump is still viable, spinning his debate performance, and conspicuously avoiding eye contact with their mothers, sisters, and daughters.

All of this is happening right here in America,